"Duggie The Hitman!" is the 1,031st episode of SML Movies.
Synopsis[]
Duggie needs money really bad!
Plot[]
The video starts with Rose asking Marvin what movie does he want to watch, which Marvin tries to answer the question but he gets interrupted by Duggie, who asks him if he can have some Money, which Marvin tells him no and asks why he needs Money, which Duggie says that the new Madden game came out and he wants to play as the "Kentucky Fries Chiefs" as "Patrick M Homeboy". Marvin tells him that he doesn't need the new Madden game as it's the same game every year but Duggie tries to convince him by telling him that this year's is different because they have someone different on the cover but Marvin tells him that they always have someone new on the cover, which Duggie says that's what makes the game different. He then asks again if he can please have it, which he says it's only $99.99 plus "cashes" and fees. Rose then chimes in, telling Marvin to buy the game, which Duggie says that he likes what Rose said. Marvin then asks if he will never ask him for anything for the rest of the year if he buys him the game, which Duggie says that he wants to go to the Strip Club, which Marvin tells him that he's not going to the Strip Club, and then says he's not giving him any money because he's gonna blow it on strippers, which Duggie says that he is mean to him, which Marvin tells him to go, which Duggie proceeds to go away as he whines. Marvin then says that he's so annoying as he's always asking for money.
At McDonald's Headquarters, Ronald McDonald asks Steve Staleburger what's going on and why he call him over, which Steve says that he called him over. Ronald then says that he got some big ideas for McDonalds, which Steve tells him that they really don't need big ideas right now as the company is doing fine, which Ronald agrees but then says that his ideas will send his company skyrocket as in straight to the stratosphere. Steve then asks what are his ideas, which Ronald starts off with his first idea: stop focusing on burgers and start focusing on computers as he found out that there is a company that is worth trillions called Apple, which he then asks Steve to guess what kind of product Apple makes, which he gives him a hint that they don't make Apples, which Steve says that Apple makes computers as Ronald laughs at his own joke. Ronald then asks how he knew that Apple makes computers, which Steve says that they are a popular company, which Ronald then says "you own one don't you", which Steve says that he does, which Ronald tells him to burn it as he claims that they have been stealing their ideas from him. He then slides a MacBook on the table as he tells Steve to guess what their laptop's are called, which he says MacBook, which he then asks him to guess what their most delicious most popular Burger is called, which he says a Big Mac as he claims that they've been stealing his name right out of his ass. However, Steve tells him that he doesn't own the word Mac but Ronald proclaims that he invented Mac, and then instructs Steve to sue them but he tells him what about kids named Mac, which Ronald tells him to kick sand in their eyes and then sure their parents for everything they're worth, which Steve then asks about Mac and Cheese, which Ronald tells him that's a good one and questions why they are even called Mac and Cheese when he thinks it should be called Noodles and Cheese, and he then asks where they get the name from, which he says "me" as he points to himself. Steve then tells him that it comes from Macaroni, which is the name of the noodle. Ronald then instructs him to sue Macaroni and the asshole who sticks a feather in his cat but Steve asks about Macadamia nut, which Ronald tells him to sue the Nut who he thinks thought it would be a good idea to steal his idea, and then says that they don't call him MacDonald for nothing but Steve corrects him, saying that his name is McDonald. Ronald then tells him to sue Mickey Mouse, which Steve says that it's getting ridiculous, but Ronald doesn't think so and says that he thinks its ridiculous that they don't sell burgers in India, and that he feels that it's kind of a missed opportunity but gets interrupted by him dropping his beer bottle but then gets back on track saying that it's a missed opportunity because there's a lot of people there and he feels that there's a lot of hungry people in India, so he questions why they aren't selling beef there, which Steve says that people in India don't eat cows, which Ronald gets a idea of throwing some cows on a cruise ship and send them over there but Steve tells him that they don't want to eat cows, which Ronald thinks it's because they haven't tried his shit as he thinks if they have tried his shit, they would love it but Steve tells him that they don't eat cows because it's against the religion, which causes Ronald to get a idea of doing a reverse Chick-fil-A campaign in India as in chickens holding up signs, saying "eat more cows", which Steve says it would go crazy with protests, which Ronald says he likes that as protests mean change, which he says when he comes back, he better be showing him pictures of happy, beef eating Indians, which he makes Steve say it with him as they both say "happy, beef eating Indians", which Ronald proceeds to leave as he tells Steve to get to it. Steve says that he's driving the company into the ground, and he needs to die, which causes Steve to leave as he says that he's going to hire someone.
At the strip club, Vladimir Putinov is seen, enjoying watching Crystal shake her asshole. Steve Staleburger then shows up, walking Infront of Vladimir, which he asks himself where he's gonna find a hitman. Vladimir asks him if he can move his head as he's blocking tits, which Steve says he looks scary, which Vladimir thanks him for that and asks him to movie his head as he's blocking tits. Steve then asks if he can hire him to kill someone but Vladimir tells him not to talk out loud like that as the police will go crazy, which he says if he wants to talk like that, then he has to speak in code like "I want you to make that man swim with the fishes" or "I want you to take out the trash", which Steve says he understands as he asks him if he can take someone out for him, which Vladimir tells him no as he is not a hitman plus killing people is wrong, which Steve said he thought that since he is so scary and he was giving him advice, he assumed, which Vladimir says no and that he would try "that guy over there" as Duggie shows up, enjoying Crystal shaking her butt, which Crystal asks him if he is gonna pay her, which Duggie tells her no as he has no money, which Crystal says that she is gonna get off the stage as she proceeds to leave the stripping pole, which this upsets Duggie as he begs for her to come back, asking her to bring him "that boobies". Duggie then gets an idea to sniff the stripping pole, which he proceeds to sniff the stripping pole, which he says it smells like "scrimp". Steve Staleburger then walks up to him, asking him how he would like to earn a million dollars, which Duggie asks if its like the "gang show" Who Wants To Be A Millionaire where you answer all the questions, which he then says he likes to choose C for all the answers. He then says final answer and asks "did I wins", which Steve tells him no, which Duggie says he would like to change his answer, which he picks B for final answer, which Steve tells him no three times, which Duggie asks if he can call his cousin Doodoo Ass because he's the smartest person in his family as he did one semester of Community College in Pittsburgh. Steve tells him that's not he wants to hire him for, which Duggie tells him that he can show him where Mount Rushmore is on the map, which Steve says that is very impressive. Steve then tells him that he's noy paying him for information as he says he's going to give him a million dollars for taking someone out for him, which Duggie asks who he is gonna take out, which Steve tells him Ronald McDonald, which this really excites Duggie. Duggie then asks if he can take him out at McDonalds, which Steve tells him no and to do it somewhere nice and private, which Duggie asks him for money as he need to "pocket in", which Steve proceeds to hand him 100 dollars, which Duggie asks if he can keep the leftovers or does he want them, which Steve tells him he doesn't want them and he should burn the leftovers, which Duggie tells him that he could eat them, which this shocks Steve. Duggie then tells him that he's a dinosaur and he's so hungry, which Steve tells him to just burn whatever he doesn't eat, which Duggie proceeds to go take out Ronald.
At Applebee's, Donald says he doesn't know who the hell Duggie was but he really appreciate him taking him out to dinner as he's usually the one taking people out to dinner, which he says is normally "hookies". Duggie then says he just want to take him out "no diddy", which Ronald calls him "my guy". Clarissa comes up to the table, asking if there is anything else she can get for them, which Ronald says yes, which Clarissa asks him what he would like, which Ronald says he's looking at it, which causes Clarissa to get unconformable, which she says she's going to go get her manager. Ronald then says threesome as he asks Duggie if he want some but then dismisses the question, saying that he would never as he would be crazy.
Back at the strip club, Duggie tells Steve that he took him out, and ate all the left overs, so he asks where's his million dollars, which Steve asks him if he has any proof, which Duggie says his belly is really full, which Steve says that's not exactly proof, which Duggie says he got one cheese stick left as he shows Steve the cheese stick he took with him but he promises that he will eat it, which Steve asks "wait a cheese stick?", which Duggie says that he took him out to Applebee's as they have endless apps, which Steve calls him a idiot as he says he meant take him out, which Duggie says he's confused as he says he did take him out to Applebee's, which Steve says take him out like mow him down, which Duggie says he didn't say anything about mowing, which Steve says that's what he meant as he says he meant mow him down, which Duggie says he didn't say that and he just say take him out, which he asks if he go mow him down, he will give him the million dollars, which Steve says yes, which Duggie asks if he wants the cheese stick, which Steve declines as he's fine.
At Ronald McDonald's house, Duggie starts up the lawn mower as he mow's Ronald's lawn. In Ronalds house, Ronald looks through his window as he sees Duggie mowing his lawn, which he says "look at this shit" as he calls Steve, which Steve says "you're still alive" in a disappointed tone, which Ronald says he's still kicking, and says that a big man a day keeps the doctor away, which Steve says that's not what they say, which Ronald says he's pretty sure that's what they say. Ronald then says he will not believe what just happened to him, which Steve asks if someone try to kill him, which Ronald says no and questions why he would say something like that. He then asks if he remember the guy who took him out to dinner earlier for free as he tells him that he's back at his house, mowing his lawn for free, which he tells Steve to fire the gardener right now, which Steve says "He's mowing your lawn?" in a disappointed tone, which Ronald tells him yeah and to listen as he puts his phone to the window and asks if he hears that as the sound of the lawn mower is heard, which he then says "what a schmuck", which Steve agrees. Ronald then says that he knows it doesn't look the best as he's a black dinosaur doing free labor for a white clown, he was thinking if he does a good enough job, he will maybe throw him a few bucks, which he then asks if he should tip him, which Steve tells him to not tip him, which Ronald calls him a "Racist Bastard" and says just like Grimace. He then says he won't tip his ass, and then hangs up as he looks through the window again.
Back at the strip club, Duggie says he did it but Steve tells him no as he says he didn't as he tells him he mowed his lawn, which Duggie says yeah and that he just isn't "weedy" because he didn't ask him to do that, which he asks for the million dollars, which Steve tells him no as he didn't do the job he told him to do, which Duggie says he did everything he told him to do as he took him out and he mowed his lawn, so he demands the million dollars, which Steve says he was talking in code, which Duggie tells him to listen as he didn't build the pyramids and it was the "estheticians", which Steve corrects him, asking if he means the Egyptians, which he says "yeah, that's what I said" as he says that he's smart and he can even tell him the capital of Greece, which he says uppercase G. He then says that Steve didn't think he knew all his letters but he does, as well as their sizes "Uppercapes" and "Lowercapes". Steve then tells him to shut up after Duggie tells him about his favorite "cape", and then asks if he wants the million dollars, which Duggie doesn't answer as he talks about the colors of the rainbow, which cause Steve to repeat the question, which Duggie says yes as he says he wants the million dollars, which Steve says that he needs him to take out the trash, which Steve says he will only give him the million dollars if he takes out the trash the right way, which Duggie asks if he is talking in "pyramids" again, which Steve says yes, which Duggie asks how tall he wants the pyramid to be, which Steve tells him that he's not building a pyramid, which this relieves Duggie as he says that would be a lot of sand and soap, which Steve yells at him to tell him to go take out the trash, which Duggie proceeds to leave to take out the trash.
At Ronald McDonald's house, Duggie goes to Ronald's trash can as he takes the trash bag out to go take the trash out, which Ronald stands there in shock as he watches Duggie taking out his trash, which causes Ronald to call Steve. Steve asks Ronald what happened, which he asks if he got shot, which Ronald tells no as he tells him that he's not gonna believe this as he asks if he remembers the guy who took him out to dinner for free and mowed his lawn for free as he tells him that he's now taking out his trash for free, which this disappoints Steve. Ronald then tells Steve that he knows he's racist but they got to pay the guy as in putting him on the payroll as he's doing all his chores, which he asks Steve if he think he could whack him off but then dismisses the question as he says he wouldn't be in that as that would be crazy. Steve then asks Ronald if he is looking at the phone after Ronald looked at his phone three times, which Ronald says yeah as he hangs up the phone.
Back at the strip club, Steve is seen, banging his head on the floor in disappointment. Duggie then comes in, saying he took out the trash, which Steve yells at him as he tells him that he took out his trash, which Duggie says yeah as he says that's what he told him, which Steve says that's not what he wanted him to do, which Duggie tells him to listen as he says he did everything he asked him to do as he says he took him out, he mowed the lawn, and he took out the trash, so he demands Steve to go to his pyramids and give him his million dollars, which Steve says he wanted him to kill him as he says he wanted to pay him a million dollars to kill Ronald McDonald as he was looking for a hitman. Steve then gets tackled by Brooklyn Guy and Simmons as he tells him to freeze as he's under arrest, which he then tells him to get on the ground, which this disappoints Steve as Brooklyn Guy says that it's a good thing that they were doing a prostitution sting in the strip club, which Simmons agrees with him. Brooklyn Guy then says that they have now uncovered this, and then tells him to come on as he's going to jail. Duggie stops them as he asks Brooklyn Guy before he takes Steve to jail, if he can go into his pyramids and give him his million dollars as he tells him that Steve owes him a million dollars and he thinks the only way he got a million dollars is by running a laundry machine, which Brooklyn Guy asks Steve if he knows what Duggie is talking about, which Steve tells him to just take him to jail, which Brooklyn Guy and Simmons proceeds to walk out to take Steve to jail as Duggie gets pissed about not getting the million dollars that was promised.
Characters[]
- Duggie
- Marvin
- Rose
- Steve Staleburger
- Ronald McDonald
- Crystal
- Vladimir Putinov
- Clarissa
- Brooklyn Guy
- Simmons
- Grimace (mentioned)
- Jeffy (mentioned on the SML Question)
Trivia[]
- This video was uploaded 3 years after "Fat Junior!", 4 years after "Joseph the Hero!", 6 years after "Jeffy's Sister Returns!", 9 years after "Pokemon Part 5", and 16 years after "Brian Crashed His Car...".
- This is Duggie's first appearance since "Jeffy's Fast & Furious!".
- This is Ronald McDonald's first appearance since "Jeffy's Moon Cheese!".
- Rose returns after a four episode absence. This is also her first appearance since "Jeffy Competes In The Olympics!".
- This is one of the few times where Duggie was strict to people (Especially to Steve Staleburger).
- This is the 1st time where Steve Staleburger gets arrested.
- This is one of the rare videos where no young characters appear.
- This is the first episode since "Brooklyn Guy's Tax Fraud!" where Mario and Rosalina appear without Jeffy.
- Simmons is played by Anthony, due to not being near Duggie.
Poll[]
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