All posts by MALSADAFOREVER

(We begin in the depths as space, where -- just kidding, it's the same red couch we've already started every video for the past several years off with because fuck you)

Junior: SO GUYS WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO TODAY

Cody: You, because I'm gay and that's all my personality will ever amount to.

Junior: (repeat same joke about Cody's mom being fat we already used in the last 35 videos)

Joseph: What is even my purpose in these videos anymore?

(Cut to the kitchen, where Marvin has prepared Jeffy a hefty hearty dish of Hamburger Helper -- psyche, it's green beans. What else would it be?)

Marvin: Alright Jeffy, it's time to eat dinner. We've already used this shame shitty joke in every other video you've been in, but the morons who watch this probably can't even tie their shoelaces, so I doubt they'd notice now.

Jeffy: FUKUDADDYFUKUDADDYFUKUDADDYFUKUDADDY

Marvin: Jeffy, please, can you please just eat your goddamn food just this once--

(Jeffy throws his plate at Marvin, bruising his nose before it shatters on the ground.)

Rose: OMG MARVIN HOW COULD YOU BE SO MEAN HE'S JUST BEING HIMSELF :(:(:(

Marvin (holding his nose in pain as it bleeds profusely): ...why do I even bother.

(Cut to the couch. Marvin, with his nose still broken, has called a doctor to help get it fixed)

Brooklyn Guy: Hey there, somebody called a doctor?

Marvin: Yeah, it's about my nose --

(Brooklyn Guy randomly starts telling a story that's completely irrelevant to the plot, made even worse by the fact that it looks like it was drawn by a kindergartener with cerebal palsy. It's pointless, obnoxious, and not the least bit funny or interesting.)

Marvin: ...what the fuck did that have to do with anything?

Brooklyn Guy: Look, we have to make a week every two or three, and for some ungodly reason that's a deadline we just cannot miss under any circumstances. I don't know why we can't, considering our creator can afford god knows many trips to Disneyworld and more McDonalds than anyone needs in a single lifetime, but we have to fill out time somehow.

Marvin: He can afford those things, yet he can't hire someone who has actual drawing talent?

Brooklyn Guy: Look, if we question all of the things that don't add up about our videos, sooner or later our brains are gonna implode.

Marvin: ...wanna help me kill my wife and son?

Brooklyn Guy: Sure. I mean, I'm a cop, but fuck it, anything to make that 10 minute mark.

SML Question

END US! FUCKING END US!! WE'RE TRAPPED FOR IDEAS, WE HAVE TO KEEP PULLING MORE AND MORE STOLEN CARTOON AND SITCOM PLOTS OUT OF OUR ASS JUST TO KEEP THIS BRAND AFLOAT, JUST PLEASE PUT US OUT OF OUR MISERY!!

So when Logan said that Shrek and Woody would totally absolutely for realsies be getting puppets around a year ago, he was really just lying (again), and all the people who were telling others to "BE PATIENT" were just coping with the reality that Logan couldn't make his absolute disregard for his older fans apparent if he tried. Surely, no one could have seen this coming.

http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2007/03/writing-for-cartoons-3-story-1.html

"The animated features today and most TV cartoons are written by comittees of people who try to figure out what entertains an audience. That's why we have so much insincere non-entertainment crap like 'Character-arcs', bad puns, ripoffs of famous movies in the guise of 'parody', contrived pathos, characters who try to find themselves, bland protagonists, one-shaded villains, broadway style tuneless songs that "move the plot forward", in every damn feature. Another amazing lie you see in many animated features is when they make fun of corporations or try to teach the audience ethics-even though the movie is being made by evil corporate executives who have no morals at all - people who stop the actual entertainers from entertaining you so they can pretend to be creative themselves."