User blog:Tyler730/SML Idea: Jeffy Cleans his Mouth

Synopsis
Jeffy has been swearing WAY too much now, so Mario and Rosalina teach Jeffy how to speak without saying any bad words.

Transcript

 * [Jeffy is spanking his diaper. Mario walks towards him]
 * Mario: Jeffy, it's time to eat your green beans.
 * Jeffy: I ain't eating no fucking green beans! I want pancakes with marshmallows!
 * Mario: Jeffy, you're not eating pancakes with marshmallows, until you eat your green beans.
 * Jeffy: FUCK NO, DADDY!
 * Mario: Jeffy, don't say that word.
 * Jeffy: I don't give a shit.
 * Mario: Don't say that word either.
 * Jeffy: Okay then. I don't give a fuck.
 * Mario: Alright Jeffy, if you say another bad word, you will not eat pancakes with marshmallows, got that?!
 * Jeffy: You got it, bitch.
 * Mario: THAT'S IT! NO PANCAKES WITH MARSHMALLOWS!
 * Jeffy: ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?!
 * Mario: You're grounded. No pancakes with marshmallows, no spanking your diaper, no asking "why", no making "uh" noises, no Hop Hop, no Cat Piano, and no SWEARING!
 * [Rosalina appears]
 * Rosalina: What's going on? I'm hearing a lot of yelling.
 * Mario: Jeffy is grounded because he kept saying bad words.
 * Rosalina: It's just a couple.
 * Mario: A COUPLE?! Jeffy has been swearing all his life!
 * Rosalina: Can you remind me?
 * [shows clips of previous episodes where Jeffy cusses]

Jeffy's Homework!

 * Jeffy: F*ck this helmet, f*ck this pencil, and f*ck this diaper! I want to f*cking know where that 4 went to get back f*cking fast to be making another 8! It's 8-4! You take the 4 away, it's f*cking 8! I don't care what you say! F*ck Eisenhower, and f*ck all these other people! It's f*cking 8! Take the 4 away from it! Take the 4 off the f*cking card! Put a 8 down in the space! It's a 8!

Jeffy's Bad Word!

 * Jeffy: Faggot?
 * Mario: Jeffy, do not say that word.
 * Jeffy: Why? Faggot.
 * Mario: Jeffy, that's a bad word. I didn't mean to say it. I was just mad.
 * Jeffy: You're a faggot.
 * Mario: Jeffy, do not say that. [to Hansel] Go away!
 * Jeffy: Go away, faggot.
 * Mario: No, shh. [to Hansel] I don't have any change. Go away.

First Day of School!

 * Mario: That's it, Jeffy. No TV when you get home.
 * Jeffy: Fuck you, daddy!
 * Mario: Jeffy, don't make me come back there!
 * Jeffy: Don't make me come up there, bitch!

Smart Jeffy

 * Jeffy: FUCK THIS PENCIL, FUCK THESE PANTS, FUCK MY SWEATER, FUCK MY UNIBROW! THE ANSWER IS FUCKING 8! YOU TAKE AWAY THE FUCKING 4, SO IT'S NOT THERE ANYMORE! AND THEN YOU HAVE 8 AND THAT'S LEFT! SO YOU GOT 8-4, TAKE IT THE FUCK AWAY AND PUT A LINE UNDERNEATH IT, THE ANSWER IS 8! FUCK IT!

Jeffy Loses His Teeth!

 * Jeffy: ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?!
 * Mario: Jeffy?
 * [Jeffy appears]
 * Jeffy: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
 * Mario: That's a dollar.
 * Jeffy: I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT IS! YOU AIN'T GOTTA TELL ME THAT, DADDY!
 * Mario: What's the problem, Jeffy.
 * Jeffy: THE PROBLEM IS YOU'RE FUCKING HIGH! YOU OBVIOUSLY THINK MY TWO TEETH COST 50 CENT A PIECE!
 * Mario: Well Jeffy, that's how much teeth are worth.
 * Jeffy: NO, FUCK THAT! I WANT MORE FUCKING MONEY! YOU'RE THE TOOTH FAIRY, AND YOU'RE RICH AS FUCK! SO I WANT MORE FUCKING MONEY, OR YOU CAN GIVE ME MY FUCKING TEETH BACK, DADDY!
 * Mario: Okay Jeffy, fine. I'll give you another dollar.
 * [Mario give Jeffy another dollar]
 * Jeffy: TWO FUCKING DOLLARS?!
 * Mario: Yeah, two-
 * [Jeffy interrupts]
 * Jeffy: FUCK THAT!
 * Mario: Jeffy, that's enough.
 * Jeffy: FUCK THAT HARD, DADDY! BECAUSE THAT'S FUCKED UP! I'M TALKING ONE DOLLAR PER FUCKING TOOTH?!
 * Mario: Okay, Jeffy here. Have this!
 * [Gives Jeffy several dollar bills]
 * Jeffy: THAT'S MORE FUCKING LIKE IT, DADDY! YOU'RE THE FUCKING TOOTH FAIRY AND THE EASTER BUNNY! FUCK YOU, DADDY! JESUS FUCK!

The Quiet Game!

 * Jeffy: Hold the fuck up, daddy! You're telling me I was never going to win a thousand dollars?
 * Mario: No, I just wanted you to be quiet.
 * Jeffy: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME I WAS SITTING HERE FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES! I'M OVER HERE ABOUT TO EXPLODE BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GONE "uh" IN FIVE MINUTES AND I WASN'T GETTING A THOUSAND DOLLARS?! YOU EXPECTED ME TO BE QUIET AFOR A FUCKING WEEK?!
 * Mario: Yeah Jeffy, because I-
 * [Jeffy interrupts him]
 * Jeffy: FOR A THOUSAND DOLLARS, DADDY, AND I WASN'T EVEN GONNA GET IT?! SO WHAT WAS YOU'RE EXCUSE GONNA BE WHEN I WAS QUIET ALL FUCKING WEEK?!
 * Mario: I was just gonna say I didn't have it.
 * Jeffy: FUCK YOU, DADDY! YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING FIND ME A THOUSAND DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING QUIET!
 * Mario: Not for a week, Jeffy.
 * Jeffy: FUCK YOU DADDY! YOU MADE ME TALK, AND YOU OVER HERE ADMITTED YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A THOUSAND DOLLARS! SO WHY THE FUCK AM I GONNA BE QUIET FOR A FUCKING WEEK JUST TO GET A THOUSAND DOLLARS AND YOU CRUSH IT?! YOU'RE THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY AND THE TOOTH FAIRY! FUCK YOU!
 * Mario: Well Jeffy, I don't have a thousand dollars. I just need my hat.
 * Jeffy: I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THE FUCK YOUR HAT IS, BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET THE DAMN THING UNTIL YOU PAY THE FUCK UP!
 * Mario: Jeffy, give me my hat! I need it!
 * Jeffy: FUCK YOU, DADDY! I WANT A THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS, BUT AM I GETTING THEM? FUCK NO! BECAUSE I HAVE A HORSESHIT DAD THAT MAKES PROMISES HE CAN'T FUCKING KEEP! YOU SHOOK ON IT! SEE THIS HAND?! YOU SHOOK IT! YOU WENT EHH.
 * [Jeffy moves his arm]
 * Jeffy: That's what you did, daddy. FUCK YOU!
 * Mario: Jeffy, I'll give you a thousand dollars later, if you give me the hat.
 * Jeffy: Well I'll give you your hat when I get a thousand fucking dollars, daddy. How about that?
 * Mario: I don't have a thousand dollars.
 * Jeffy: Well then I don't know where the fuck your hat is.
 * Mario: [to Rosalina] Do you have a thousand dollars?
 * Rosalina: No, I don't. You're gonna have to do something.
 * Mario: Jeffy, [to Rosalina] I think I have $500 in the back.
 * Jeffy: WELL FIVE HUNDRED AIN'T GONNA FUCKING WORK, ASSHOLE! I NEED A THOUSAND!
 * Mario: I guess I'll go take a load.
 * Rosalina: Yeah, you should go to the bank.
 * Jeffy: I only accept cash, motherfucker.
 * Mario: Okay, I'll get cash.
 * Jeffy: Yes, you fucking will.
 * [flashbacks end]
 * Rosalina: I can see now, but you don't need to take away EVERYTHING he likes. Why don't we teach him how to talk without swearing.
 * Mario: How are we going to convince him to learn?
 * Rosalina: I got an idea.
 * [Grabs a cookie]
 * Mario: Jeffy, we're going to teach you how to not swear.
 * Jeffy: Why the fuck would I care?
 * Rosalina: Because if you cooperate, you can get a cookie.
 * Jeffy: A cookie? I want a cookie! Pick Jeffy to eat a cookie! Let's fucking do this thing!
 * Mario: That's the first thing, you're saying WAY too many F-bombs. This has to stop. How about you say, "Daddy is so great," without using the F-Word.
 * Jeffy: Daddy is so fucking horrible.
 * Mario: No, Jeffy. Without the F-Word.
 * Jeffy: Daddy is so horrible.
 * Mario: That's not exactly what I said, but at least you didn't say the F-Word.
 * Jeffy: Can I get a cookie now?
 * Mario: Sure, Jeffy. You deserve a cookie.
 * Rosalina: Here you go, Jeffy.
 * [Rosalina gives Jeffy a cookie]
 * Mario: Lesson 2, now you're going to learn not to say "shit". Now say "This tastes bad."
 * Jeffy: Where's the food, daddy?
 * Mario: Oh, I actually have green beans.
 * Jeffy: Eww, daddy! They taste like shit!
 * Mario: No, Jeffy. You're supposed to say "This tastes bad." Not "This tastes like shit." We actually have more cookies.
 * Jeffy: Green beans taste disgusting! Cookies taste so fucking amazing!
 * Mario: [sighs] This is going to take a while.
 * [after 30 minutes, Jeffy finally learns]
 * Jeffy: These green beans are so disgusting! Can I have cookies?
 * Rosalina: Sure, Jeffy. You deserve them.
 * Jeffy: Thanks, mommy. [to Mario] Daddy, can I listen to Hop Hop?
 * Mario: [sighs] In your room.
 * Jeffy: Okay daddy.
 * Mario: I'm gonna watch some TV.
 * [Turns on the TV. Goodman is seen]
 * Goodman: Breaking News, mkay! The Fifth Annual National Swearing Contest is coming to town! You get a chance to win one million dollars just for swearing! I don't know about you, but I'm participating, mkay. I'm gonna win those million fucking dollars!
 * Mario: ONE MILLION DOLLARS, JUST FOR SWEARING?! Jeffy is the KING of swearing. Aw man, Jeffy just learned that swearing is bad. I'll just convince Jeffy to swear again.
 * [Jeffy is dancing to the Bunny Do]
 * Mario: Jeffy! [Jeffy ignores Mario] Jeffy! [Jeffy ignores Mario again] JEFFY! [Jeffy ignores Mario a third time. Mario turns off the music]
 * Jeffy: Why'd you do that?!
 * Mario: I think you're about to drop a couple of F-Bombs now, eh Jeffy.
 * Jeffy: What are you talking about, daddy? You said F-Bombs are bad.
 * Mario: I just need you to say a couple of bad words for a contest.
 * Jeffy: Why?
 * Mario: So I could win a million dollars, Jeffy. Don't you want a million dollars?
 * Jeffy: Yes I do, but swearing is not the answer.
 * Mario: [talks to himself] How am I going to get Jeffy to swear? Ooh, I know! [to Jeffy] Hey Jeffy. It would be a shame if I took your precious Hop Hop away.
 * Jeffy: Come on daddy, don't do it!
 * Mario: [to himself] Dang it! He's not doing it. I got it. What about your cat piano?
 * Jeffy: Come on?!
 * Mario: [to himself] I know what'll make that retard swear. [to Jeffy] Jeffy, no cookies, no pancakes with marshmallows, no Hop Hop, no Cat Piano, no spanking you diaper, no noises, and only green beans for the rest of your life!
 * Jeffy: ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, DADDY! FUCK YOU, DADDY! [while Jeffy is swearing, Mario takes Jeffy to the car] YOU'RE A HORSESHIT DADDY! YOU FUCKED ME! YOU'RE FUCKING HIGH!
 * [cuts to Brooklyn Guy hosting the contest]
 * Brooklyn Guy: Welcome to the Fifth Annual Swearing Contest! You can win ONE MILLION DOLLARS just for swearing!
 * [Jeffy and Mario arrive]
 * Jeffy: YOU'RE THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY AND THE TOOTH FAIRY! FUCK YOU DADDY!
 * Brooklyn Guy: Oh my goodness, I just found a winner. Uh, what's your name, sir?
 * Mario: This is Jeffy.
 * Brooklyn Guy: Well Jeffy, you just won a million dollars.
 * Mario: YES! I DID IT I'M A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE!
 * [end of video]